Big congratulations go out to Idaho big game hunter Jim Martell, who paid a Canadian hunting outfitter $45K to kill a polar bear. Instead, he shot and killed the only documented wild example of a grizzly and polar bear hybrid. Originally confiscated by Canadian officials, it’s now being returned to its “rightful” owner – the brave hunter, of course! He, with his buddies, slayed the beast from hundreds of yards away with his long-range rifle. See how brave he is, ladies and gentlemen? How could he look into the very face of danger (through 70x binoculars) and stare it down like that? Amazing!

Understandably, Martell is quite proud of his accomplishment! While already on location in his next hunt, he joked that he’ll dub his catch the polargrizz. “It’ll be quite a trophy!” he quipped.

Alright. Turning off the sarcastic 1940’s newsreel voice.

Killing for food, or culling a population out of control… I’m all for it. It needs to be done to humanely remove animals from areas where they’re starving or being hit by cars. And it’s widely known that Native Americans used every part of the buffalo they killed – and thanked their Gods for providing it, to boot! I’m not some softie – I eat lots of meat. I just trust it’s prepared for me in the most humane way it can be. Some will surely think this hypocritical.

But Martell is an example of human scum – somebody with a spot on their den wall that can only be filled with a pathetic proof of their manhood. And the short-sighted glee that this ass derives from killing the only one… well, that just proves my point.

You’re a cowardly ass, Jim Martell. I look forward to reading about you again – after you’ve been mauled to death by an elephant on your next “great adventure”.

Melissa’s diploma finally came in the mail yesterday from her interior design school. She graduated with straight A’s – two and a half years ago – with an associates degree in Applied Science of Interior Design. Now it’s not as big a deal when she already had the bachelor’s in Art Education from U of I, and was already working as a designer since shortly before we were married… but it’s still nice to have the paper to remind you of your accomplishments.

Between a hectic job with long hours, night classes where she was loading up on the maximum number of courses at a time, Melis still managed to get out of there in a year and a half – with honors.

I remain impressed, and really proud.

A nice little patch of green that greets us and our 24 neighbors as we arrive home every day.

As current condo board President, (cue Hail to the Chief) I try to make a few little improvements here and there around my building. I earned political capital when I was elected, and I intend to spend it.

I started last summer in the bike room, bolting heavy-duty wooden scaffolding to the ceiling for bikes to hang from. It freed up room to walk in and actually get to your ride. With my “base” obviously supporting my agenda, I’m now focusing on our courtyard – specifically, a spot where we pulled out a dead tree last summer. It left the area looking incongruous, and everyone agreed that something should be put in its place. I may be condo President, but I enjoy putting on jeans and clearing brush once in a while.

So at last month’s board meeting, I presented an idea for sprucing up the courtyard. After a little “Googling” to find some curved benches, and fifteen minutes in Photoshop… voilà: instant urban charm, a tiny oasis for reading or waiting to meet a friend.

If only I could now broker a deal with our neighbors in the building to the south. They keep filling our dumpster with their garbage. If they’re not careful, they’ll end up on my “Axis of Evil Neighbors” list when I address the condo in my State of the Condo address.